Assuming it's a quality and clean, safe hotel, Mine is "do you have bath tubs in your rooms?" I'm a bath lady, and I know some of you men out there like a nice soak in a tub also. After all, I think tubs were around long before showers. Actually I don't mind the shower for a hotel stay of no more than a day, but for any extended time I need a bath tub. Any other tub or no way people out there?
When arriving at the reception desk I ask the representative checking me in is this is the XXXXXXXX Hilton?
Really, it's my stupid humor and the front desk thinks a real idiot has shown up. (example - if in Atlanta I'll say is this the Atlanta Hilton) - There is a method to my madness - it not only loosens them up but they pay more attention to the computer and immediately say (in most cases) "common on now you're a MR Platinum Premier - let me see If I can find something special for you")..........okay, my secret is out - I really do that even at hotels I have visited regularly.
The only exception to this practice occurs when I arrive at the hotel in a desperate need of a rest room - I'll let you guess what my first question is under that set of circumstances.
Yet again you come out with the line of the thread SeaTexan!!
Ours would be do you have a balcony that overlooks the water (presuming it's waterfront) and if not on the water it would be where is the bar!!