If you are looking for night life the best place in Honolulu. I really like Ko Olina which is about 20 miles outside of Honolulu. Not many children at the hotel and the lagoons are really nice.
Kauai and The Big island (Hawaii) really don't have much going on at night. The Hawaii islands are more about the warm weather, beaches and relaxation.
Maui has more nightlife then Kauai or The Big island but still nothing compared to Honolulu. About 80% of the Hawaiian population (all islands) is in the city of Honolulu.
To be honest most people don't go to Hawaii for the night life. The islands are really lay back.
Only Marriott brands in HI anywhere near nightlife would be on Oahu and Maui. On Oahu, you are looking at the Waikiki Marriott, the Renaissance and Waikiki Courtyard, all near or across the street from the beach and on or near the main nightlife drag, Kalakua Blvd. On Maui, the closest to nightlife would be the MVCI resort, "Maui Ocean Club", about a mile from the nightlife on Front Street in Lahaina.
Other Hawaii Marriott locations are family-oriented and often some distance from significant night life.
Marriott Wailea is in Maui is the only way to go. My wife and I share your requirements for good/great restaruants and bars. While I avoid eating dinner at any Marriott, the surrounding resorts, 4 Seasons, Fairmont, etc, all have 5 star restaruants.
The grounds are old plantation style which means you have a lot of room to breathe. There are three pools, one of which is an adults only, no cell phone serenity infinity pool. It overlooks the ocean and you can see turtles coming up for air all day long.
Wailea is a beatiful, if unknown part of the island. Not very touristy, but definately upscale. The property borders on a high end small mall.
The town of Kihei is also very close and can provide you with local style food and activities if you get tired of the resort prices.
If you do nothing else, eat at Nick's Fish Market in Wailea. Best fish anywhere in the world.