I posted this a while ago, before I left Insiders but it speaks to kindness and forgiveness as well.
Some years ago I met a former adversary, a retired KGB general, who was then en route to becoming a US citizen. We were hired as instructors by a government agency to work with new recruits. As I shook his hand for the first time, he said, "Roger, nice to see you again!" Of course we had never met before so it was a Russian joke of sorts. No one laughed, He and I have become good friends over the years. We seldom discuss the "good old days," since there were none.
I and others wrote letters to the State Department to prevent the deportation of his lovely wife, then dealing with cancer, to Russia where she would be a "guest" of the prison system since in a twist of fate, he was declared a traitor to mother Russia!
I could have refused and he himself never asked for help, being a stoic and proud man. I did it for his wife and for him. She died in the US, not in her homeland.
Hmmm. My ex-husband behaved dispicably toward me long ago and for many years. He was also dispicable towards our daughters and allowed his wife to really do a number on them. I am not alone in this assessment. Now he's out of work and unhappily married. Recently I've found myself surreptitiously trying to help him find employment. I figure everyone needs a job, and he's my daughters father. I still occasionally feel mad about it all. Not where I'm concerned, but insofar as what my girls had to suffer. So I don't know if that's forgiveness or not.